A rain day? Really?

Here in Namibia, they don't have snow days. But rain days, yes. Below are some pictures of the river that we have to cross to get to school. Up until the past few weeks, it has been completely dry, and we just drive across it in the fearless combi (van). But with all the rain we've had lately, the river has flooded and it prevented us from going to school on Thursday, and called for an emergency evacuation on Friday!

Here is the river on Tuesday, the first day we had to "forge the river" (I felt a little like I was in the old computer game, Oregon Trail) on foot.

Friday morning, some of the girls coming over to the other side of the river before we decided it was safe for us to cross.

Halfway through the day on Friday, a man from the farm came on horseback to inform us that more water was coming and the river would rise quickly. (They opened one of the dams). So we had to make an emergency evacuation from school in the quickly-rising, strong-current water. I love adventures! :)

A raw heart and A worthy cause...

Maybe this post is finding you in a place similar to where I have been the past couple of weeks…feeling burnt out. Those words provide such an accurate description of that feeling: that something that was once lit inside you, giving off light and heat, is suddenly barely hanging on anymore. Tired, weary, worn down.

I have been feeling this way for a variety of reasons, but mostly as a result of realizing that my time here is quickly nearing its end and I am experiencing a sense of helplessness in my work with the children at Kwakwas…that so little is ever going to change for them. And that, in addition to many other reasons, the language barrier between us puts limits on the relationships that I have with them. It feels too overwhelming to wrap my mind around just how desperate these children are for so much in their lives: their physical needs met, safety from evil that is done to and by them, love, nurturing, and more than all of that, their desperate need for a Savior who will add all those other things to them that they need (Matt 6:33).

And what can I do about ANY of that? Teach, tell, talk, listen, and love them. And even in working hard to do all those things, I have seen, day after day, a lack of understanding in all of those areas. And it is heartbreaking. It’s enough to make me feel “burnt out,” and ready to give up.

But as I thought about those words this week, I realized that while that is an accurate description of a feeling, it is a quite inaccurate description of a life that is lived IN Christ, through Christ’s strength. Burning out implies something finite, a wick that runs out sooner or later. But Christ is absolutely infinite, and absolutely capable of accomplishing all of it. Feeling burnt out means that I have, yet again, been relying on my own strength to do something. So how do I pick myself up, continue to work hard and finish well in my work with these precious kids, not burning out the finite candle that is my strength, but rather, burning tirelessly in the strength that Christ provides?

As I was listening to one of my favorite artists, Sara Groves, God moved my heart in such a strong way to recognize the importance of my LOVE for these kids, in spite of whether or not they understand it. It’s not about their response to it, and it never has been. It is about offering truth, which is the purest form of love, and trusting that Christ’s strength will keep in burning in me.

I know that written song lyrics don’t always have the effect that they do when they are paired with music, but humor me and read some of the words that have been such an encouragement to my heart.

When you count the cost and it all seems lost
Love is still a worthy cause
When you’re pressing on though your strength is gone
Love is still a worthy cause

Friend, I know your heart is raw
But love is still a worthy cause
Picking up and pressing on
Oh love is still a worthy cause

It’s the beauty in the tales we tell
It’s the pressing on and ending well
And the joy that comes when we give ourselves away
And I love because You loved me when I had nothing…

The fact that Christ loved me enough to die for me while I was still a sinner (Rom. 5:8), that He loved me when I had NOTHING, is enough to motivate a life of love no matter what the response is from those who receive (or choose not to receive) our love. No matter if they understand it or not. Love is always a worthy cause…no matter how tired, how hopeless, how ineffective it may feel. It is the right answer. And there is joy when we give ourselves away like that.

I pray that if you too are feeling “burnt out” yourself in one way or another, that Christ reminds your heart of this incredible truth. HE LOVED US this way… He loved us while we were ungodly, unrighteous, and the Bible describes this as “JUST THE RIGHT TIME.” Now is just the right time to love others the way we have been loved. And I am praying that Christ gives you and me the endurance we need to press on even when the cost seems too great and all our strength is gone. You can be praying for all of us, that as followers of Christ, we will always count it JOY to give ourselves away for the glory of the God we serve.

Jesus, don’t allow us to grow weary of doing good for your glory, and give us the strength we need to love the way you have loved us.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone… Galatians 6:9

Thanks for your prayers in this, my faithful friends and family. God is continually using your prayers to encourage me and teach me, and I am grateful.

Much love,

Kristen

Encouraged...

Yesterday was such an encouraging day at Rehoboth High School. Mackenzie and I started up our Bible Study and discipleship group with the girls at the hostel. We opened it up to anyone who was interested, and on our very first "official" meeting, we had 15 girls come. We have been praying that God would draw out the girls who are really seeking Him, and that He would work on their hearts in a mighty way. I wanted to write today to ask my amazing prayer supporters to join us in praying for the hearts of these girls and the girls who will join us in future meetings. I really believe that the Lord is going to work on their hearts in His own timing, and I am overjoyed that I get to be a part of what He is doing in their lives already. I cannot tell you what a blessing it is to know and spend time with these girls and have this amazing opportunity to share the truth and hope of the Gospel, and how it has transformed my life. We left them yesterday with a challenge to ponder over the next week... "Do I have a relationship with Jesus Christ?" AND "How does it affect my life and everything I do?" Please pray that God would prompt their hearts and draw them nearer to Himself.

Here is all 17 of us from yesterday's meeting. I'll share the names of the girls in case any of you want to lift them up in prayer by name:

Fabiola
Yvonne
Katrina
Claudine
Lavinia
Dore-Ann
Jasmine
Menesia
Grace
Luzelle
Francina
Taimi
Cardinochelle
Kearene
Ndeshi

This is Grace and I after our meeting yesterday. Every single one of these girls are so sweet and such a joy to get to know!

Thank you for joining us in prayer for this exciting opportunity. I will keep you updated and will also write more soon about how the rest of life in Rehoboth goes and what God is teaching me through it all...

Much love and gratitude,
Kristen

The first week back to school...

One week down of the first term of 2009 at Kwakwas Primary School. Another farm school just a few miles away from Kwakwas recently closed, so we have gained quite a few new students... There are now 102 students up from 80 last year! Here are a few pictures of the first week back. It was great to see the kids again and get acquainted with the new faces.

The first two days of the week were for teachers to do planning. While working in the classroom that I share with the principal, two of the boys (Rico and Dorian) who live on the farm kept me company. Such a treat...and so cute that they spent quite a bit of time looking at books (sometimes upside down).

The new students arrived to move into the hostel and unloaded all of their stuff from the back of a truck (12 students and their pillows, blankets, and small bags all fit in one pick up truck).

Jemca, one of the daughters of our host family, started 1st grade this week. It was quite an excitement!

Here, the first day of school doesn't necessarily mean that school actually starts. Here the Grade 1 Class waited outside in the shade while the classroom was repainted.

Parents and students gathered into the office to register for living in the hostel for the term.

The Grade Six and Grade Four Class had a blast playing sight word Bingo...(I'm not going to lie, I also had a great time!) :)

You can be praying for the kids and the school. That their needs will be met, especially their great need to understand the good news of Jesus!

Much love and so thankful for your prayers!
Kristen

Loving my team...

The past couple weeks has provided many opportunities to have fun and do ministry alongside some of my amazing team mates. God has given us such a sweet team here in Rehoboth and they have been such a source of encouragement and laughter. In addition to our week together in Windhoek working at the children's home, we have gotten to work and play together now that we are all back in Rehoboth.

Heidi and Amanda built an amazing campfire and we made smores...

We spent a morning making as many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as we could manage (just around 200) and took them to the poorest part of town to give out to the kids and families.

Catherine, talking with some of the precious kids we met.

Every time we turned around, there were more children hoping to get a sandwich or an apple.

The current team of seven took an afternoon trip to the Oanob Dam (just about 10k outside of Rehoboth)... We had a blast having a braai (barbecue) and swimming!

The remaining US team :) (And in just four weeks, our other two faithful team mates will be departing, leaving just Mac and I!) Thankfully, we will have 3 new team members joining us before they leave.

Thanks to all of you incredible supporters who make amazing opportunities like our PB&J day possible.

Love,
Kristen

He will surely do it...

The second half of my time here has begun, and has caused me to step back and reflect on what God has been doing so far, how I can change and grow and do better, and the reasons behind why things have happened the way they have…

Through this reflecting, God has brought to my attention more than once, the words of John 15:4-5, 7-8:

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing…If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.

Really? Ask whatever you wish and it will be done…? I have struggled with this passage because it just doesn’t always seem true. Not everything we ask for is given to us by the Father. And there are many people who misuse this verse thinking they can manipulate God into making them healthy and wealthy and prosperous. Scripture is clear about one thing: God will NOT be manipulated. He is God, which by definition makes whatever He does the RIGHT thing. So He does whatever He pleases, and it is for His glory and our good. And even though what He does is hard to swallow and painful at times, I LOVE the God of the Bible, the God in complete control of all of creation, and who doesn’t always answer prayers the way I expect, but who does everything according to His good purposes .

But this passage seems to tell us that we SHOULD ask for whatever we wish…with one important prerequisite that cannot be overlooked. That we abide in Christ and that He abides in us. If we are abiding in Christ, then the fruit of the Spirit, (which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control Gal. 5:22-23), will be evident in us, and absolutely eliminate the possibility of us asking for things that are self-serving in any form.

So, when this verse is read and interpreted in context, it’s not something to shy way from. I have neglected this verse in the past because I have feared its misuse…but God is revealing to me that I should ask Him for the deepest, most foundational cries of my heart, abiding in His word, and TRUST Him to do it. As I have begun to really grasp this, I have been more encouraged than ever that no matter how fruitful or unfruitful that I feel my efforts have been, I can trust that God will accomplish His purposes. It is such a comfort to know that “it will be done.” That “He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it.” (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

So what are right things to pray for that I can be sure are in tune with Scripture?

Here are a few that I will absolutely be praying for in the coming months:

-For the gospel to go forth and succeed in bringing people to Christ. (Isaiah 55:11)

-For God to be seen, exalted, glorified for who He is.(Revelation 4:11)

-For those I know that are seeking truth to FIND him. (Jeremiah 29:13)

-For God to accomplish His purposes in and through me. (Isaiah 46:10)

And even though those aren’t incredibly specific, I am so satisfied in knowing that those prayers WILL be answered according to the perfect plan and will of God. It is easy to feel like a failure when ministry and life here hasn’t gone according to my expectations or as I hoped. But these truths from Scripture have been more encouraging and satisfying to me than any “good work” I could pat myself on the back for. Without Christ’s work, my righteous deeds are like filthy rags to Him (Isaiah 64:6)…so I jump at the chance to make it less about what I do and more about what HE is doing.

The point is NOT what I can do…the point is what God is already doing, and has been planning on doing from the beginning (WITH OR WITHOUT me.) I’m more thankful for that than ever. And my prayer is just to get on board with what He is doing. Not to try to reinvent the wheel here… :)

Yet another thing that has been humbling is that more than achieving His purposes through me, God is working IN me to refine me, grow me, and change me more into His likeness. Jim Elliot says it better than I:

“How well I see now that He is wanting to do something in me! So many missionaries, intent on doing something, forget that His main work is to make something of them, not just to do a work by their stiff and bungling fingers. Teach me, Lord Jesus, to live simply and love purely, like a child, and to know that You are unchanged in Your attitudes and actions toward me.”

I have been convinced of that more and more by the day as God has stretched me and challenged me in the past four months more than ever before in my life. The verse I referred to above in 1 Thessalonians 5:24, one of my favorite verses in the Word, says that He who calls you is faithful, he will surely do it. Do what? We find our answer in Verse 23: Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely… Isn’t it interesting that God who calls us is faithful to do a work IN us more than THROUGH us? It is humbling and at the same time absolutely incredible, that God is choosing to use this time to sanctify me.

All of that to say, God is truly working on me, teaching me things, and revealing over and over again my utter dependence on Him to use my life here for His glory. I long for Him that, and can trust that if I continue to ask for that in prayer, He will do it. Thanks for taking the time to read these reflections and thanks for your faithful prayers. Your partnership through prayer is incredibly meaningful and fruitful… God is working.

Prayer request updates:

Mackenzie and I have begun planning a 5-week follow-up Bible study/discipleship group for some of the girls who live at the high school’s hostel that we will start at the end of the month. We are really excited about what God has begun doing in some of these girls lives. Please pray for continued wisdom in this!

We are also welcoming three new AIM team members to Rehoboth on January 17^th… I am so excited to get to know them and have more co-laborers for the gospel: Brittany, LuLu, and Stephen. You can be praying for them and their transition here.

I love you all!

Kristen

Traveling through Namibia...

Happy New Year to all my wonderful friends and family! :) My comings and goings of the holiday are officially over today, as I head back to Rehoboth in just a few hours. While I still had a fast internet connection, I wanted to post some pictures of the great places and things I experienced in the past week and a half. Mackenzie's parents came for Christmas and it was a wonderful to have them here...a little piece of home! They were so generous to invite me to travel along with them, and it was a great time of refreshment. I am gearing up for the second half of my time here. Here are some pictures of the past 10 days...

Even after a slight mishap with luggage not showing up, Mac had a wonderful reunion with her parents at the airport!

Our first stop was in Swakopmund, Namibia (a very touristy location on the coast). We visited the absolutely awesome sand dunes (and began a tradition of jumping in front of landscapes of the cool places we visit!)

Not only did we visit the sand dunes...we quad biked (also known as 4-wheeling to Americans) through them. Highlight of the trip for me!

On the beach at sunset in Swakopmund... so of course, it called for a jumping picture.

Christmas day... I got to skype with my family and they, along with some of my wonderful friends, sent sweet gifts with the Longs for me to open. Made the day extra special. I cannot tell you what an amazing gift Skype is. To be able to see my family was such a blessing!

The Longs treated us to an incredible Christmas feast... Mac and I ordered and this is what came out... it was the biggest plate of food I've ever seen.

Our next trip was further north in Namibia, to Etosha National Game Park. We did a 3-day camping safari and got to see some amazing animals. Lions were the most exciting for me...I wanted this to be Aslan.

If they would have let us get out of the vehicle, we would have DEFINITELY jumped in front of this picture.

All in all, I had some pretty incredible experiences. It was a blessing to have some time away and get to see more of Namibia. And now, I am ready to unpack my suitcase and get back into a routine here. I continue to be so grateful for all your prayers and love and support.

How you can be praying:
-The "second half" is upon us as school is about to start in just a week and I get back to my normal routine. Pray for God to give new wisdom, direction, creativity, and even more love for the kids I work with.
-Pray for the high schoolers that we developed relationships with...that God would have really worked on their hearts these last few months and we can continue great conversations about following Christ with them.
-Pray that I would be PRESENT here, to make the most of every single day and seek to honor Christ in all that I do here.

I love you all and hope that your Christmas and New Years were times of joy, laughter, love, and above all else, glorifying Christ.

More from Rehoboth soon!
Kristen