Kindling.

Back to blog world...and cannot believe how the time has flown. Exactly one year ago, I was preparing to return home (a much anticipated day by yours truly) from Namibia. A year ago, I didn't know what I was going to do once I got home, except bask in the sweet gifts of family and friendship I had waiting for me. I didn't know if I would be going back to Africa, or going to Hungary, or working at a Starbucks or as a nanny, or getting to minister to students, or living at home or with friends. And I didn't care (for a short moment, at least) because I just wanted to be home. I wanted some sense of "comfortable" again, whether or not I would have admitted it to myself. But now, a year later, I laugh at the thought. And I laugh at how many times my heart has yearned to be back in the place that I so often longed to leave. Funny, isn't it? Something about tasting the adventure of following Jesus leaves you constantly hungry for more. I yearn for uncomfortable in a way that makes absolutely no sense to this selfish sinner's heart. But uncomfortable is where I've fallen more in love with Jesus than ever before...so uncomfortable it is.

This last year has been full of many things. Unbelievable gifts from God, heartache, unmatched seasons of joy, ups and downs of ministry, and more lessons learn than I ever expected to learn on this side of the Atlantic. I think I came back believing that God could only rock my world in Africa...or at the very least on the mission field in another country. And, I still do maintain that when you leave the comfortable places of your life, you learn to cling to Jesus in a whole new way and grow to love Him more than ever before. But my last year has been a testimony to the fact that Jesus is a "world-rocker." If you pay attention, and if you want it, He will mess you up, regardless of your geographical location. He will ruin you. And I can't get enough of it.

The way He shakes things up, shakes ME up, and refuses to let me stay in a comfortable, complacent place. He does it for the sake of refining me, to make me look more like Him- to bring out the beauty that is only a reflection of His glory. And because I've tasted this...nothing else will ever come close to satisfying me. I'm ruined for Jesus. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

This last year, I've missed writing. I've missed sharing the world-rocking Jesus is doing to this fragile heart of mine. I've missed learning how to be real when I share thoughts with my blog world friends. I've missed hearing about how the Lord has shaken you up. The joy that flows from having your "world rocked" is only fully complete when it is shared.
But how do you decide if what you have to say is worth sharing? Who really "deserves" peoples' time and energy and thoughts as they read your blog? Not this kid. I make no claim of having something worthy of reading...and I definitely don't claim to be an author or an expert by any stretch of the imagination.
But, I've decided to re-join the blog world because I want my joy to be complete by sharing it with others. I've decided to re-join because I need practice communicating truth and articulating how the Word of God is transforming me. I've decided to try my hand at this again, because I long to put as many sticks in the pile as I can so that the Holy Spirit can light it on fire in your heart, in my heart, and in the hearts of my students. I love this new (to me) analogy that I totally stole it from Matt Chandler-- everything that we say and do with our lives of ministry to others is equal to placing kindling in the fire pit. We put sticks on the pile and pray on our knees that the Holy Spirit lights it on fire. He is the ONLY one capable of transforming hearts, and so we do everything we can to prepare for the fire and wait for Him to light it up.
That's what I want to do with this blog. Just some practice for what I do with my life and ministry. Just the "pre-share" before I share in the day to day life of the real world.

Jesus, light it up. And if there is ever an ounce of truth written here, may we ALL acknowledge that it is of you and from you, and let love explode in our hearts when we hear/read/see it.

More to come about how Jesus is shaking up my world...