Count me in.

Lately, I have been so aware of how little time I have left here in Rehoboth, Namibia. As a result, I have been thinking through all of the lessons I have learned through my time and experiences here…all of the ways I have been challenged, stretched, and grown by the Lord. My heart has been so moved with gratitude and amazement at what the Lord has done in me…the way He has been SO near, how I have experienced Him here in ways I have never experienced Him before, and all the ways in which he has expressed his love for me.

If you’ve been following my stories and thoughts on this blog at all, you know just as well as I do that this has been, at many times, a hard and difficult journey. Some of the hardest moments of my life so far have been had over the past six and a half months. And yet, when I reflect back on every single moment, I see the Lord’s hand over it all. I see the perfection of His plan, His Fatherly love in the ways in which He has chosen to refine me, I see His creativity and the wildness of this adventure He has called us to. I see Jesus written all over it.

And I wouldn’t trade that for ANYTHING. I wouldn’t trade that for an easy life. I would never exchange the difficulty, the pain, the tears for an easy story. Because I have known far greater joy than ever before as a RESULT of the hard journey. The joy of clinging to Jesus in the most difficult moments of your life, the joy of knowing that He is working it for your good, the joy of knowing that you will emerge more beautiful and like Christ as a result….that joy far exceeds the cost of any sacrifice you might make.

Compared to many, I haven’t made many sacrifices in my life. Compared to most, I haven’t had much hardship in my life. Here in Africa, I am more aware than ever that the Lord has spared me from so much. And somehow, it has made me even surer that whatever He sees fit to bring in my life, no matter what the trial or pain that results from following Him, I long to love Him and follow Him forever. The joy that results from HIS presence is worth it. Oh, my friends, it is so much BETTER than all the world.

I don’t know what lies ahead for the rest of my life…I don’t even know what lies ahead for me in the coming months. But I do know, for sure, that I have tasted the sweetness of following Jesus. I would be lying to say there haven’t been plenty of moments where I have felt like it was too hard to sign on for this kind of living for the rest of my life…moments when I longed for life to feel EASY. Moments when I thought that this was going to be the last time I tried to live “sold out."
And I know I will wrestle between those desires and the deepest desire of my heart for the rest of my life. But the Spirit of God has moved my heart to a place so that my deepest desire is for the joy that results in a life sold out to Christ. A life not content to make Jesus fit with my plans, but rather a life that is only content to fit itself around Jesus. To seek Him and go wherever, do whatever He calls me to, no matter what I have to give up. I am so confident that when I meet Jesus face to face, I will say, “I NEVER made a sacrifice. Anything I gave up for you, I receive back one hundred fold now, in the presence of my Savior.” But I will only be able to say that if I live it out…

What I have learned while I’ve been here has made me want to say to ALL of it, “COUNT ME IN.” I’m in. 100%. Wholeheartedly. Because I have tasted the joy of intimacy with Jesus that comes from trying to live this way. And because I know that right now I cannot possibly fathom the even greater reward that I will see one day… MY JESUS.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross…” Hebrews 12:1-2

Count me in. I’m amazed that you’ve even allowed me to taste it, Jesus. It’s a gift to be called and to follow, no matter what we must give up. There is no greater joy than following you, and more than ever before, I want to do it FOREVER.

Thanks for your continued prayers… Here are a few specifics:

-To finish WELL. That God would give our team the strength to finish all that He has for us here in Rehoboth before going home.

-For Lulu, on my team here, who is leaving next week because her grandfather is ill and her family needs her. That God would reveal Himself and be near to her and her family during this difficult time.

-For our last five weeks with the high school girls Bible study. We just completed our first study with them, and had a really great response. God is working on their hearts. Pray for wisdom as we continue meeting with them.

I love you all!